So here it is. The most ridiculous frock of all time, in my humble opinion.

No one, I repeat no one, dressed more pompously, ludicrously and uncomfortably than the court ladies of ageing Elisabeth I. Lizzy liked it big. And rich. Having lost her physical charms she  imposed a fashion that made all women look like heaps speckled with confetti and swathed in gauze. It was like an ongoing contest of “who can fit more jewels onto a dress”. Or “who can buy more of the ultra-expensive transparent fabric and display it all at once”. Such clothing was only available to the richest poor sods in the kingdom. Poor because they had to move around in this… well… priceless heap. At least 60% of other people in England walked barefoot. Which was probably healthier after all. I mean look at this woman! Apart from the face and hands she’s got no natural shape left at all. Her torso is rammed into a cone, her waist is squeezed and pushed down (the lower tip of that bodice reaches almost to her knees!), arms – lifted and padded to the extreme. She’s got at least 30-40 cm farthingale buffer sticking out in all directions . The only relief is that the ruff is of an open type, so she can see where she’s going. Not that she’s going anywhere far dressed like this. She is supposed to stay put and show off – a living showcase of her family’s wealth and political influence. Well done,  Lizzy.